I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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