How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
