yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize