He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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