There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
