Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
