he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
