K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
North Korea, Best Korea!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
