You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
