i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
