Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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