i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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