fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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