didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
