We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
