Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
