i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
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We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
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because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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