Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize