when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize