The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
