In the future we'll all be gay
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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