dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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