I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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