where am i from again
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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