Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
