We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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