When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
