Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
