just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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