did you get engaged???
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
