I accidentally had phone sex last night
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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