hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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