I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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