I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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