I'm drive I can fine osifer
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
