i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
