Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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