so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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