Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
