she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
