You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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