Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
