So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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