see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
