I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
