I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
