I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
