You work out of a Hotel?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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