I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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