Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
