No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
