You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
