So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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