I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
