she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
where are you?
Hypothermia
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
