All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
