i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
