He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
