Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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