their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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