Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
